First I’ll share with you what I learned not to do–what didn’t work. Sometimes those are the easiest things to learn. First, what not to do, then what to do. So, the first thing I learned to stop doing was avoid the things I was worrying about. I had this big huge weight of all these worries running through my brain all the time. I just kind of avoided them, like I tried not to think about them and just pretend I’m fine, even as all of those worries are running around my head, totally loose and making a mess of things. Okay…don’t do that. It does not work. It doesn’t help. It just makes your brain exhausted because it’s spinning with worries constantly. It doesn’t work.

Another thing I learned not to do is argue. Arguing with other people about the things you’re worrying about, it doesn’t help. It just causes contention. When you’re all fired up and worried and you’re in that heightened state of emotion, it’s not a good time to be arguing. It just isn’t. Arguing about the things you’re worrying about doesn’t work. So don’t argue. Don’t do those things anymore. I’ve tried them, I’m sure you’ve tried them and it doesn’t work.

But what does work? What works? How about asking? Asking works. When’s the last time you sat down with yourself and asked yourself “What am I worrying about?”  Ask yourself, what is it that I’m worrying about, and then follow that question up with “Is there anything I can do about it? Is there anything I can do about this thing I’m worrying about?”  Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about that thing you’re worrying about. Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do and then after you figure that out you can let it go. 

But, if there is something you can do, you can ask yourself another question. The next question is “Am I willing to do what needs to be done so I can stop worrying about it? Am I willing to do that action step?” And you can decide. If you’re not willing to do it, just leave it alone. Let it go and stop worrying about it, since you’re not going to do what it takes to overcome it or to figure it out. If you’re not willing to do it, don’t worry about it anymore. Leave it alone. Let somebody else deal with it. 

If you decide you are willing to do what it takes to overcome, then you can do what I do. You can put it on your calendar and schedule a time to take that action step, so you don’t have to worry about it anymore. You don’t have to have that worry sitting in your brain. You can put it on the calendar and sometimes, when you’re really lucky, that thing you’re worried about, you can just do something about it right then. Once you stop and ask yourself these questions, you can just get it done, and then you don’t have to worry about it.

It’s so simple, but so powerful. So, something that my husband and I do is on Sunday evenings we go on a walk. The rule for the walk is that as we’re leaving our house, when we’re walking away from our house, we talk about the things we’re worried about. We just talk about all those things we’re worried about and we don’t avoid it and we don’t argue about it. We just share. “This is what I’m worried about.” “I’m worried about that.” “I’m worried about this.” Okay? So then, as soon as we turn around to head home, we talk about the solutions and the decisions. We decide. We ask ourselves if there’s anything we can do about it. If yes, then we decide if we’re willing to do something. If yes, we decide if we are going to calendar it or if we can take care of it right then. So on our way home we’re making decisions and we’re coming up with solutions. By the time we get back, we’ve made a plan. It’s either on the calendar or we’ve already resolved the things we were worried about.      

It works! We’ve done it. We’ve tried it. We’ve tested it out. It works. If you feel like you’re worrying all the time, and you have so many worries wrapping around your brain, stuck in your head taking up a lot of valuable space, stop avoiding and stop arguing. It doesn’t work. Start asking. Ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do about it?, and am I willing to do that thing?”  And if so, put it on the calendar. Do it, do it. You’ll feel so much better without that worry gunking up your brain. 

When you’re making decisions and finding solutions, that’s where happiness is. Happiness is where peace of mind comes from. Just facing those worries head on and asking those questions. I encourage you to try this. If you try it, let me know if you found success. I think you will if you do it. I think you’ll be glad you tried it and put forth this simple effort. You don’t necessarily have to go on a walk with your spouse. It could be a friend. It could be alone. It could just be some meditation time with God because He’s a good friend too. 

So, are you going to do it? I think you should. I don’t want you to worry anymore. I want you to make an action plan and take these steps. You can do it, I believe in you. I love you and I think you’re awesome. And, I think you’re worth taking the time to sit or walk and make these action steps in your life.