Have you heard of Dave Ramsey? You probably have. He’s The Money Guy as far as I’m concerned. He teaches how to get out of debt and stay out of debt. And he talks about being “gazelle intense” and the “debt snowball, which is amazing. You should look him up, he’s awesome. He teaches another principle that I’d like to talk about today. He says that when he started his radio program talking about money and the good ways and the bad ways to use it, the dos and don’ts, that he decided that he wouldn’t use his platform to attack people. That he would attack ideas and ideologies and belief systems. That he would work on attacking those things that aren’t serving us and aren’t serving the world. But that he wouldn’t gossip and he wouldn’t call names and he wouldn’t attack individuals.
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I love, love, love, that idea! That you can question, you can use your logic, you can criticize (yes you can criticize), and you can use your critical thinking to really ponder and make informed decisions by using your critical thinking and attacking those ideas that aren’t serving you or the world. And you don’t have to attack people to do that.
What would the world be like if more people did that? What would the world be like if when we see someone doing something we don’t agree with, or that we feel is harmful or that we just don’t like, or makes us feel uncomfortable. What if instead of talking about those people in a negative way, what if we talk about the ideas and belief systems and we go that route instead. We use our critical thinking and our logic and we puzzle it out in a way that’s productive.
I’ll give you an example. When I was a kid, my parents were very open minded and very, very loving. However, they used their logic and their critical thinking skills, but they didn’t believe in gossip. So, when they saw a family member or a friend doing something that they disagreed with, that they would take the time to teach us as kids what they disagreed with, what they saw as the possible outcomes, negative and positive, and they helped us think through why they agreed or disagreed with this friend or family member. But they did not call names to that family member and they did not disown them and they did not show less love, they just taught us how to think and how to make decisions and how to learn from other people’s actions. And that has been a huge benefit for me in my life to be able to criticize ideas and decide on my own what I agree with and what I disagree with. But still be able to love others, because they aren’t their choices. They are themselves, and they’re worthy of love no matter what they choose.
And I encourage you to try it in your life. It is so freeing my ability and your ability to love others will increase, if you decide to criticize ideas, ideologies, belief systems and really puzzle out what you believe and what you don’t believe and share that with your family. But leaving out the individuals and not having to drag them through the mud or drag them through what you disagree with. It doesn’t have to bring them down in their value just because they disagree or just because they do things you don’t like. It is freeing and we are much more capable of loving our neighbor when we can separate their ideas, their ideologies, their behaviors and their differences from them. Because all people are awesome and all people have light and goodness in them. And we can appreciate that, even when we disagree. I encourage you to try that today. Try to find something that you agree with or disagree with and talk to your kids about it without gossiping. It can happen and it can work for you as it has worked for me.
Your friend,
Maria
