I had a big fat bandage on my arm. It was cumbersome and I obviously couldn’t hide it because it was covering my whole forearm. Not only that, but I was in a lot of pain and my hand was throbbing. This injury of mine was a problem. To avoid the blood going to my hand I held my hand up in the air in front of me. So, really, I couldn’t hide my big, fat, bandaged hand that was positioned awkwardly in the air at all times. 

Everyone Noticed the Problem

I went to church like this, and I’m sure you can guess what the first thing was that everybody noticed. Not that my hair looked really good, considering I had done it with just one hand. And not that my outfit was nice, after I had spent 30 minutes scrambling, digging through my closet, trying to find something that I could put on by myself. They didn’t notice those accomplishments, but they certainly noticed the problem that I was holding out in front of myself. 

Problems are like that, aren’t they? They naturally, and instinctively, get our attention, which is for a good reason. When there’s a problem, that means we need to find a solution, and so our go-to behavior is for us to be wired to look for problems. We look for problems and then we try to find solutions, and then when we find the solution we move on to the next problem. 

That’s just how we’re wired. So, if you feel like there are a lot of problems, there’s a reason for that. There are indeed a lot of problems, and you’re wired to look for them. Something that you can work on, though, is appreciating the solutions that you’ve already found and celebrating successes that you’ve come across, and then taking the time to see that life isn’t only about problems. There is more to life than problems.

You Notice the Problem, Even When It’s Surrounded by Good

So there’s this good visual about problems that I’ve seen before, and I think about it often. Imagine a white board with no writing on it. It’s just a plain white board, except that it has a dot on it. Somebody has drawn a dot somewhere on the whiteboard. So now, when you go into the room, and you look at the whiteboard, what’s the first thing you see? The dot! You notice the dot, but you don’t notice that most of the board is white. Most of the board is clean, things are generally going well on the board, but you don’t notice that. 

No, you notice the dot because it’s out of place, and it’s a problem. We have our problem antenna active all the time, scanning, searching, looking for the problems. That’s how we’re wired and it’s okay, unless it’s not okay. Unless it gets overwhelming and unless it gets to be too much and too heavy, so that we’re only looking for problems and we’re only seeing problems. Then we’re kind of drowning in it. That’s not helpful, right? It’s not helpful.

Retrain Your Brain to Not be Overwhelmed by Your Problems

So how do you retrain your brain to not look only for the problems? That’s the question. How do you retrain yourself? This is so natural and easy, it just happens. You can pick up on those problems super easily and that can turn into criticism and it can turn into overwhelm. So how do you overcome this? How do you retrain your brain so that you do not become overwhelmed by your problems? I have three steps to retrain your brain so you’re not overcome and overwhelmed by your problems. Here are my three steps.

1. You acknowledge the problems you’ve already solved. In my story, in the beginning, I acknowledged that I did my hair with one hand. Yay, I did it! It was hard and I acknowledged that to myself. I found an outfit that I could put on by myself with one hand. Often other people aren’t going to acknowledge these successes so we need to acknowledge them ourselves.
2. Celebrate the successes of others. Look for the things that other people have overcome and acknowledge it, and congratulate them. As you see what they have overcome, you celebrate with them! They have overcome things and you can bring that up in conversation and talk to them about it so they can remember problems that they’ve already solved so they can feel good too. Once you’ve done those two steps, acknowledging your success, and acknowledging the success of others, then you can move on to step three.
3. Tackle the problem that’s in front of you. Because now you have success energy and you’re not feeling overwhelmed by your problems and defeated. You’re using that success energy that you’ve built up by acknowledging previous successes and then you tackle the problem.

The Flip Side: Things to Avoid

Then there’s the other side to this, which is what you should not do. We always have to remember what not to do, too, right? 

1. Don’t only talk about the problem. Do I need to explain why that is? It should be obvious, but maybe it’s not. People don’t want to only talk about problems with you. It just brings you and everyone around you down.
2. Don’t leave out your successes in conversations, or the successes of others. When you’re having a conversation, don’t leave out all the good stuff. Don’t leave out the positive things going on in your life or the solutions you have found. 
3. Don’t forget about all the life that is to be lived between the problems and solutions. There’s so much life in there, such as recreation, enjoyment, and play. Don’t forget about those things. When you include those in your life, you won’t feel so bogged down or overwhelmed by your problems, and you will find a nice balance. 

Overwhelmed by Your Problems No More

Next time you have a conversation with someone, what if you try to talk about your successes and their successes along with the problems you have? Be intentional. You have to be intentional to do that because the problems are obvious and easy to find. Just like my hand with the big fat bandage was obvious, and the dot on the white board was obvious (everybody’s looking at that dot–you can’t avoid it). But if you’re intentional, you don’t have to be swimming in the problems or feel like they’re too heavy. You can acknowledge your past successes and look with hope to the future for the solutions that you’re going to find.

One of the definitions of the word temper is “To improve the hardness and elasticity of steel or other metal, by reheating and then cooling it the way a smith would, to a sword.” So when a sword is tempered by reheating and cooling, it becomes stronger and more flexible. When we lose our temper it’s usually by being reheated, right? And then when we gather our temper, and temper ourselves, we’re cooled. We might say we cool off, right? 

Instead of losing your cool, what if you could harness the energy of losing your temper, and instead of reacting to the situation, what if you acted to control your temper? What if you could use that opportunity of losing your cool and use it to help you become stronger and more flexible? 

Control Your Temper

The approach to control your temper that I am going to share today involves harnessing the power of music. That’s how I’ve overcome and moved through and harnessed my temper, and used that opportunity of being reheated and cooled to benefit me and help me become stronger and more flexible. Do you want to learn how? Well, I’ll tell you. 

It’s as easy as Ready, Set, Go! First, you get ready. You get “ready” by allowing yourself to feel and process the emotions, get “set” by setting a timer, and “go” by moving through the feelings. That’s a quick summary of the process. Now let me walk you through this exercise and help you understand how it looks. 

Find Three Songs

Start by finding three songs. The first one is an angry song. I know you know of one. I’m sure you have one of those songs that you can just listen to that gets you riled up, makes you feel angry. Maybe look back to your teenage years, if you’ve forgotten. 

Next, you find a sad song. Something that is just so sad, has a sad story, or a sad feeling about it. Again, I’m sure you know one, and if you’ve forgotten, think back to your teenage years. Go back to that decade and search it up. You’ll find a sad song.

Finally, you find a motivational song. A fight song. Something that gets you out of your chair and into action, not with anger, but with motivation. Something that could get you moving. 

Work Through the Emotions and Move On

With these three songs, that’s all you need, and then you will move through those emotions. Turn on the angry music and allow yourself to feel the anger. Feel it good. Just feel angry. Justify it, validate it, and acknowledge it. You’re angry and you have a reason to be angry. Allow it to pass through you, instead of stuffing it down and letting it fester. 

Then you move on to the next song. Behind your anger is sadness, an unmet expectation, regret, and sorrow. There’s some sadness in there behind the anger. So, once you move through that anger song you move on to the sad song and you allow yourself to feel sad, because it’s sad. You had this expectation that wasn’t met or you’ve been injured. It’s sad. Acknowledge it, feel it, and allow yourself to take the time to feel it. 

Then with the next song you move on, you find your fight, you find your motivation, you find your power. Step into your power and move on. How would that feel, if the next time you were triggered, instead of seeing red or losing your temper, or losing your cool, or blowing your lid, what if you had a backup plan, a Ready, Set, Go plan? 

Summarizing the Process of Controlling Your Temper

Get yourself “ready” to allow yourself to move through the emotions. “Set” a time limit, three songs max. You can listen to three angry, three sad, and three powerful if you have the time. Set a time limit and then let yourself let go, and move through those emotions, and let go of them. Instead of reacting, act, to control your temper. Then you “go” forward with your life, feeling relieved of the anger and sadness. 

Things to Avoid

So, now here’s what not to do. I told you what to do already. You get ready by preparing yourself mentally to allow the emotions. You get set by giving them a time limit, and you go by moving through the emotions. Now, this is what you don’t do. 

Don’t sit with the emotion and don’t stuff it. It’s not good to get triggered and then just shove it in and just hold it, because you will blow your lid at some point over something different. You don’t want to stay angry too long or sad too long, so don’t listen to 15,000 angry songs, okay? Set a limit.

Don’t end on a negative note. You don’t want to start the process sitting in your car, listening to angry music, and then decide you’re going to go into the grocery store after listening to a bunch of angry music and feeling angry, because then everybody in the grocery store is going to feel your bad vibes. They don’t deserve that. They’ve got their own problems that they’re not managing, so they don’t need your anger. End with something powerful and motivating. 

This Will Work For You

I have done this and it helps so much. Having been triggered before, I know it doesn’t feel good. You find yourself freaking out over things. We all do it. Everyone does it. But what if we use that opportunity when we’re triggered to have this plan in place, where we just move through the emotion, feel it, allow it, acknowledge it, and move on. Move on instead of stuffing it and dragging it with us everywhere we go. 

You don’t do that anymore because you control your temper. I’m excited for you and I hope you are, too. I think this is going to be really good for you. It’s not hard. Just three songs. You can find three songs. I have gotten to the point where I have whole playlists, one for angry songs, one for sad songs, and one for motivational powerful get-moving music. I’ve done it and I’m telling you, it works. Now it’s time for you to give it a try.

Your Thoughts are Not All Your Own

I’m going to share today about the three different voices in your head. Now, you think it’s all you, you think it’s all your brain, and you think it’s all your thoughts. But let’s go back to your childhood for a moment. Do you remember those cartoons where there was an angel on one shoulder and then a devil on the other shoulder, and they were giving advice to the cartoon character? Well, that’s not too far from the truth. I’m here to tell you that it’s not all you and your own head coming up with all the thoughts you think. You think it is, and it feels like it is, but it’s not. It can be really annoying when you’re fighting with yourself, wondering “Why am I fighting with myself? It’s all me.” But it’s not. 

The Devil is the Source of Your Negative Thoughts

Here’s what is really going on. You have the devil talking to you all the time, and you also have God’s angels talking to you all the time. I guess it’s usually not the devil himself talking to you, but usually some of his minions. Not the cute yellow ones, though. That’s not how it works. The real ones are dark and awful. And the devil’s angels, his minions, or his workers of darkness, are just screaming at you all day. They’re pointing out everything you’ve done wrong,  how ugly everyone else is, trying to get your pride. And maybe they’re pointing out how your car is not good enough, and they’re just yelling all the time at you, constantly criticizing, yelling, pushing, shoving, being annoying, being irritating, and pointing out flaws of yourself and others. Just screaming all the time. No wonder it can be so hard to stop thinking negative thoughts. They’re relentless, aren’t they? 

And if you think those thoughts are your own, it can be really hard. You think you’re stuck with those types of things being put on you all the time and running through your mind constantly. 

God is Also in Your Head

Then you have God’s angels, inspiration, the Holy Ghost, or the Spirit giving you guidance, direction, promptings, and good ideas. The way that the Holy Ghost works, or that the Spirit works, is that it’s calm and peaceful and quiet, inviting and open, encouraging and enlightening, and it feels just light and airy and open. 

The Loud, Negative Voice is Easier to Hear

Now if you picture yourself in any given typical circumstance, life is usually busy. Usually we’re working, we’re doing things, we have tasks and we’re not spending a lot of time in calm, quiet, or peaceful surroundings. When you’re running and busy, and doing things, how does someone get your attention? They raise their voice, right? They speak up, they speak out, and they speak loudly. 

In this world, power and leadership is usually held by those who are loud, forceful, pushy, and prideful (confident on the side of pride). We’re trained at a young age to believe that those who speak up, and speak out, and are loud are the ones to follow. So we’re tricked into thinking that the voice in our head that’s the loudest and the pushiest is the one we should listen to. When we are followers of Christ, and we seek peace and light and enlightenment, that’s not the voice you want to be listening to. You don’t want to be listening to the one that’s loud and pushy and yelling at you. That’s not the type of leader that we look towards, right? 

I haven’t yet mentioned the third voice in your head. That’s your own voice, which is the one asking a lot of questions and being tugged back and forth between the other two, trying to sort things out. My main focus here is how to engage with the other two voices.

How to Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

One of the ways that I have learned to identify the two voices, so that I can consciously choose which voice I’m listening to, and stop thinking negative thoughts, is by the notebook method. This involves two notebooks: a black notebook and a colored notebook. 

The black notebook is plain and black, and the colored notebook is something that just speaks to you, maybe it’s your favorite color or has something that you like on it, such as a puppy or flowers or geometric shapes or a garden. Just whatever speaks to you. Then you take two minutes each day for each notebook. 

Clear Out the Negative Thoughts

You start by setting a timer for two minutes and then you open up your black notebook. With your black notebook open, you sit and listen. Listen to that voice that is screaming, pushing, criticizing, and being negative, giving you “glass is half empty” thoughts. As you hear those thoughts, you write them down. Take them out of your head and put them onto the paper. 

At this point you get to choose: do you want to keep those thoughts or do you want to leave them in the notebook? I leave them in the notebook, because they’re pushy and mean and I don’t like things that are pushy and mean. So, I leave them in the notebook. 

Listen For Inspiration

After the timer goes off you shut the notebook and set it aside. Then you set another timer for two minutes and you open your colored notebook, and then you listen again. Now that you’ve quieted that yelling voice, you listen to the quiet, soft, still voice and you ask God what messages he has for you, what he wants you to know, what inspiration does he have for you today, what does he want you to do, what is he inviting you to do, what is he inviting you to think and feel about yourself and others.

My friends, that is power! That’s some good information. You want to tap into that information. It’s good, it’s uplifting, it’s opening, and it’s inspiring. It lifts you and it feels so nice. 

Notebook Method To-Do List

So let me go over this again. This is the notebook method. Here’s your to-do list. 

1. Set a timer for two minutes 
2. Write in the black notebook first, because that’s a louder voice and it’s much easier to hear, so you write in a black notebook first for two minutes.
3. Set a timer again, for two minutes (or more).
4. Write in the colored notebook for equal or more time (at least two minutes). You write in the colored notebook and you listen to those voices of the angels that are talking to you, inspiring you, and giving you uplifting messages. You write those down so you can treasure them and review them and you can choose to keep them. 

Notebook Method Don’t-Do List

Now here’s a list of what not to do.

1. Don’t keep these voices in your head. If you have them all in your head, these voices are going to compete for your attention and the loud voice is going to win, because it’s loud and we can hear it all the time. The quiet voice is harder to tap into because we have to be calm ourselves, be a little bit at peace, and be in a quieter place. That’s not often how life is, right? But the more we tune into it the more we’re going to be able to hear it in any circumstance.
2. Do not write only in one book or the other. When we choose to only think about our good thoughts, that can certainly be helpful. But until we get that voice of criticism, and judgment, and anger, and ire, and irritation out of our head and onto a piece of paper, it’s going to remain there bothering us. 
3. Don’t do it alone. Now this is a big one. The third thing is that if you, or the person that you’re helping, is in a really dark place, so that their thoughts and what they’re hearing are very, very dark and scary, then don’t have them do it alone. If it’s you or someone else, if you’re in a depression or in anxiety, if you’re having a panic attack, or a very depressive episode, and your thoughts are very, very dark, don’t do it alone. Ask for someone to sit with you and support you so they can help to hold you up. It can be really scary, I know. When I struggled with depression really, really bad, I couldn’t write in these notebooks alone because I was afraid of the thoughts I was having. I got tricked into thinking that those thoughts were mine, but they weren’t mine. I didn’t choose them and I didn’t want to keep them, but I didn’t know how to get rid of them. 

The Challenge: Try It! Stop the Negative Thinking!

This method has been very, very helpful to me and my family and those that I’ve shared it with. I challenge you now, if you think this sounds like a good idea and that it could be helpful for you, I challenge you to go to the store in the next 24 hours and get two notebooks, a black notebook and a colored notebook, and do this exercise. It takes just four minutes. You’ve got four minutes. 

What could happen in your life if you could really tell the difference between those two voices, if you could tap into, at any moment, the voice of God and his angels? What inspiration could you get, what answers to prayers could you receive if you just spend four minutes a day listening to those two voices, choosing to let go of the negative ones and choosing to embrace the ones from God? How much of an impact can you make on your life and the life of others? 

Bonus “Don’t-Do”

I have a bonus for the “what not to do” list. This is my top secret tip for improving your life. Drumroll, please… When you learn something new that could be helpful to someone, you often think about who you want to share this information with, because you know people who are struggling, you know people who are having a hard time, and you know people whose lives could be better if they would implement the thing that you learned. So my secret bonus tip for you is this: Don’t let yourself get distracted into thinking this is for someone else and not for you.

Let me repeat it. Don’t get distracted into thinking this is for someone else and not for you. This is for you. It’s for you. The devil’s in your head and what’s he saying to you? He’s saying “Share this video with someone else. Tell someone else to do this. You don’t have to do it. You have no problems. This is for everyone else.” 

The way that we teach others is through example. That is the biggest, fattest, awesomest way to share with others. You do what you want others to do, and when they see it’s working for you, then they’re going to ask about it. You don’t have to give them advice without being asked. When they see that it’s working for you they’re going to ask you “What are you doing? How’s that working?” They’ll ask you for your advice when they see how well you are doing.  

It Works Because It’s Truth

So that’s the secret: you do it first, you go first, you be the example, and when it’s working for you, it’s going to come up in conversations and people are going to be asking about it.

And that is how to stop thinking negative thoughts. I’m so excited for you! This method works. It works because it’s based on truth. It’s based on what’s actually happening in your brain. You’re not fighting with yourself all day. You’re hearing the devil and you’re hearing God and you’re asking yourself which do you want to listen to, and where do you want to go. 

When you start writing in that notebook you’re going to notice the difference between the two voices and you’re going to recognize why you keep listening to the devil. It’s because he’s loud, obnoxious and pushy. But you don’t have to listen to him anymore. You can take those negative thoughts out of your brain, put them onto paper and close that book.             

We See Their Strengths

I have asked myself those questions before. A lot actually. I have really, truly, wondered “Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes? Can I really do this?” An analogy came to my mind a little while ago that helped me make more sense of my life. I have an acquaintance that I really admire and look up to. This person is amazing. I’m grateful for this person in my life, but I wonder why she’s the way she is and why I am the way I am. Sometimes when we know people that are super amazing it makes us question whether or not we are also amazing ourselves.

Comparing Myself

So, the analogy that I came up with to compare myself and this person is that she is like a Swiss Army Knife. She has all the tools. She’s compact, efficient, and completely capable in any circumstance, she’s got toothpicks, she’s got scissors, she’s got knives. This girl can whip out her gifts and her talents in almost any situation and shine. And it’s amazing! She’s amazing!

And then the comparison that I came up with to apply to myself was that…I am a spork. I’m a spork!. My conclusion was that I’m just a spork and she’s a Swiss Army Knife. She’s got it all together, and she’s completely capable–all the time. And I’m a spork. I can be either a spoon or a fork, and I’m not really good at being a spoon, and I’m not really good at being a fork. But I can be both. Just not very well. 

This way of thinking kind of gave me a pass on needing to be amazing. I figured that God gives everyone different gifts and I’ll just take mine and be a spork, and that’s fine. I’ll just be a spork, she’ll be a Swiss Army Knife, and everybody will be grateful. That’s just what I’ll have to live with.

Comparing Others

Then a few weeks passed and I had someone text me who was really struggling and suffering with comparing themselves to others. I could really identify with this person, having similar feelings myself. So, I made a little comparison for them too. I told them “Well, you’re a monster truck, and the person you’re comparing yourself to is a pair of scissors.”

Monster trucks are awesome, but they’re not as useful in everyday life. There’s not a constant need for a monster truck. It’s just not as consistent in usefulness or amazement. But, on the other hand, a pair of scissors is needed and used all the time. The world would be greatly lacking if we didn’t have scissors. We use them all the time.

And I really believed this. I was really trying to talk up the amazingness of monster trucks. And that the other person is great too, as a pair of scissors. Both are very different, and you can’t really compare them to each other because they are so very different, and useful in very different ways and different circumstances.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

But I realized that I got sucked into the comparison trap. I got sucked into it, I really did, and I was comparing myself to someone I know. And then I was comparing this other person to someone else also. In the short term, I felt better with the comparison and being able to make sense of things. 

But as I have really been thinking about judgment, and about being good enough and smart enough, and having what it takes, I think that the real lesson for me is this. There are times when I’m not good enough, and times when I don’t have what it takes. But it really doesn’t matter, because with my Savior, Jesus Christ, I am good enough and I have what it takes when I walk with Him in faith and have Him by my side. And you are good enough, too, and you have what it takes. So, please stop comparing yourself to others.

Be What You Are

I really think that is one of the purposes of this life, to realize that we don’t have it all. We can’t be and do everything on our own. But with Him, we can. So we don’t need to judge ourselves against others. We just need to be what we can with the gifts and talents that we have, and then allow the Savior and His grace to be in our lives, to help us to be enough, and to help us see our worth and to help us live our best life. 

You don’t need to compare. We’re all awesome. And even if I more fully resemble a spork than a Swiss Army Knife, I have the gifts and talents that God wants me to have in this life and I can make the best with them that I can and I can be happy with it. So, the next time you’re wondering about your worth, stop comparing yourself to others and consider how much more your life can be if you let the Savior help you. He can help you expand on the gifts and talents that you have so you can become who you want to be.

Life is hard, and sometimes we just feel done. We feel like we’re done. We feel like we have nothing more within us. Nothing left to give. Nothing left to offer…and we’re done. We quit.

Well, after not freaking out when I saw that text (which is the first step), I had to come up with an idea, a plan, a solution, something to say, something to do. What do you do when you feel like you’re going to quit, or someone you love wants to give up? 

Quit the Right Way

Interestingly enough, I wrote about this topic in my journal a few days before this happened. I wrote “I have come up with the dignified, respectable, and very wise way to quit.” Do you want to know what it was? Here it is: I quit doing things…On My Own. We don’t have to do anything alone! We don’t. We have a Savior, who is Jesus Christ. And he has said “Cast your burdens upon me, for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

Turn to the Savior

That’s a good way to quit! Quit doing it on your own. You don’t have to. You have a Savior who loves you and wants to help. And he can make your life easier if you turn to him. I have done this many times in my life and I have found great success. And my quitting, or my giving up, or being done, doesn’t last. I process the emotion. I reach out for help from my Savior and from my loved ones. I get validation. They agree it’s hard. I tell them what’s going on and they agree it’s hard. 

But I don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t either. So the next time you feel like quitting, or like you’re just done, I encourage you to quit…in the respectable, dignified and wise way. Quit doing it on your own. You don’t have to, and neither do I, and neither does my child.

Do you ever get frustrated with yourself and your anger? Do you find yourself getting angry and really regretting the things that you do? I know I have. I have lost it! I have lost it as a parent, and, well, mostly as a parent. Parenting is hard. My buttons get pushed and I blow my top sometimes. 

My Prayer was Answered

So I have a story of one time in particular I remember this happening. I think I only had three of my kids at the time. They were little and busy and I was tired and it had just been one of those days and I went to bed and I was so sad. I was so sad because I looked back on my day and I had yelled at my kids a bunch, like pretty much all day. So, I prayed. They say when you can’t do anything else you just pray. So, I prayed. And I said “Heavenly Father, I don’t want to yell at my kids anymore. I don’t want to yell at my kids anymore. Can you please help me?” You know what happened? Seriously, no joke. You want to know what happened? I woke up the next day and I couldn’t speak above a whisper. I had totally lost my voice! Was it because of the prayer or was it because I had literally yelled myself out of a voice the day before?!?! We may never know. I think probably both. I’m hoping it was because of the prayer and that I hadn’t literally yelled that much, but, I don’t know. 

It wasn’t good and I didn’t like it and I wanted to change.  Do you want to change? Do you want to stop yelling at people? Do you want to stop blowing your lid? Do you want to stop releasing your anger on others? I have other methods that I have learned since then that are much better than losing your voice. That was a wake up call for me. It really woke me up and it really helped me to start managing my anger better, and to not yell at my kids so much. But I’ve learned other ways of dealing with this, and I think some of them could help you. 

A Better Way to Manage Your Anger

So there’s something called anger transference. The idea is that one person gets angry, and then they yell at someone else because they’re angry. They yell at someone, and then that person goes and yells at someone else, and then that person goes and yells at someone else, and on and on. It’s just a cycle of anger being transferred from one person, to another person, to another person. 

What if there’s a better way? They say that hurt people, hurt people. That makes so much sense. When you’re angry or hurting or sad or whatever, you don’t want to keep those feelings. You want to let go of them, and so the natural way to do that is to just let go of them, and when we release them we sometimes do that on people. Sometimes we take it out on other people. 

I have learned a way to get rid of my anger without hurting anyone else or transferring that anger onto anyone else. The way that I do that is I get a piece of paper and I take my anger out on paper instead of on people. I pull out a piece of paper, and I get a pen or a marker. Sometimes I just want to do it with a red, anger marker to just really, really hit it home that I AM ANGRY! And I get that paper and I write. I write about all the things that I’m angry about. I don’t want to hold it inside and I don’t want to put it on other people. So I take it out on the paper. I scribble, and you probably couldn’t read most of what I write because it’s mostly all scribbles. Scribbles of anger, emotion, and frustration. I take it all out on that piece of paper. Then I take the piece of paper, I rip it up and I throw it in the garbage. And then I’m done.

It Worked!

And you know what? I feel better! I feel better, and nobody else had to take it from me. I was able to take it from inside of me and put it on a piece of paper and throw it in the garbage–where it belongs.    

It’s awesome, you guys, it’s awesome, and it totally works. And you know what? Since that day years and years ago when I lost my voice, I have not lost my voice from yelling at people again. It’s a success! I have had success with this. I have had major success with this, and I have been able to intelligently and maturely handle my anger and not transfer it on others. 

What would happen in your life if you tried this exercise? Would those you love be happier? Would they be less likely to receive your anger when you reached your limit? Would you feel better because you’re not holding it all in all the time? I think some good things could happen in your life also. I invite you to try it.