Do you want to learn a trick? I have one. I probably have lots, but today I’m going to just share one. So, I have been married for over 20 years. That’s a long time! To some people that’s a long time. To others, they think, “You know, it’s not that long.” But I think that’s a good chunk of time. Twenty years of living with another person. Cohabitating. Me living in their space; and them in mine. 

I have a tip. Do you want to know it? Okay, I have a story. I love stories. I love sharing stories. This one’s from the Bi0ble. There was a woman. She was a sinner. Not unlike you and me. She was a sinner. She did stuff wrong. She was going to be punished for it. The way they were going to punish her was they were going to throw rocks at her, which is super rude, right? That’s so mean. I’m glad I didn’t live back then in those times. I would not have been able to handle that. Anyway, she’s a sinner so they’re going to throw rocks at her to punish her.  And the Savior came up and He said “Okay, yeah, go for it. Any of you who are not sinners, you throw your rocks.” Well that caused the people to second guess their decision. They’re like “Oh, hmm.” We’re all sinners. We all do stuff wrong, we all make mistakes. 

Now how can that apply to marriage? If you do stuff wrong, and you don’t want to be criticized for it, guess what, don’t criticize your spouse. Don’t do it. It hurts their feelings and it really diminishes your relationship. Don’t criticize them. I’ve heard people say this phrase about how criticism can be a good thing. I don’t even know what it is now because it’s not a good phrase. “Constructive criticism?” I’ve never come across any criticism that I thought was constructive. I just haven’t. I’ve come across a lot of criticism that was defeating, and tore people down, and diminished their confidence, and made them feel unloved and unimportant, and like they’re not good enough. I’ve heard lots of criticism that turned out that way. 

You love your spouse. You do. You love them, and they love you. There’s a lot of love in your hearts for each other. And that love will grow when we bite our tongue, and take a step back and we choose to not criticize. Certainly there are lots and lots and lots of things that they could criticize you for, because you’re not perfect either. You’re a sinner. We’re all sinners and we’re all messing up all over the place. Criticism is not going to help anything. 

You cast the first stone once you’re perfect. And you know what? The Savior’s perfect. He’s not a sinner. You know what he did? He didn’t cast a stone. Even he didn’t cast a stone. He gave her encouragement and hope. 

So what can you do? Give encouragement. Give hope. When someone you love does something that you love, tell them. Yes! When your spouse does something that helps you to be happy or that makes you feel proud of them, tell them.

I have a challenge for you.  Find three things today that you can say to encourage your spouse. Find three words of encouragement. Three sentences are even better. What are three things they’re doing right? They’re doing a lot of things right, and they’re trying their best. They’re working their hardest. This world is not an easy place to live. And being in someone’s space all the time is not easy. It’s not easy for you and it’s not easy for them either. But they’re doing a lot of things right, and who’s the best person to tell them that they’re doing something right? It’s you, their spouse. You love them, they love you, and your love will grow, and your marriage will improve when you tell them the things that they are doing that are awesome. 

I’m sure there’s a lot of them. Just pick three today and tell them, and you’ll see your marriage improve. I promise you that. Your marriage will improve and your love will grow as you let go of criticism and embrace encouragement, and use words to do that. You’re awesome! Marriage is awesome. It’s super fun. Walking through this world alone would not be fun. Doing it with a spouse is a huge, huge, blessing that some people don’t have. We can appreciate the blessing and the gifts that we have in our marriage and we can do that by showing love and giving encouragement.